"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"Gather in your resources, rally all your faculties, marshal all your energies, focus all your capacities upon mastery of at least one field of endeavor."

"We adore chaos because we love to produce order."

"Always run from a knife and rush a gun."

"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."

"He that studieth revenge keepeth his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well."

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"