"We can have no '50-50' allegiance in this country. Either a man is an American and nothing else, or he is not an American at all."

"There is nobody as enslaved as the fanatic, the person in whom one impulse, one value, has assumed ascendancy over all others."

"If the whole human race lay in one grave, the epitaph on its headstone might well be: 'It seemed a good idea at the time.'"

"In accordance with our principles of free enterprise and healthy competition, I'm going to ask you two to fight to the death for it."

"A good marriage winds up as a meeting of minds, which had better be pretty good to start with."

"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest amount of hissing."

"LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure."

"You may regret your silence once, but you will regret your words often."

"The absence of love is the most abject pain."

"He has a splendid repertoire of 500 words. Why does he insist on using only 150?"

"Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched."

"For in all legends men have thought of women as sublime separately but horrible in a herd."